So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
