Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
