Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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