It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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