marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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