I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she peed on how many people?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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