3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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