Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
