There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
