And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
