Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In America we eat man semen.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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