I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
