what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize