no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
