don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
