People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
