Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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