Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
