I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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