is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
