Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
