is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
