Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
