I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
