So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
