this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
