Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
