Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
