i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
