I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
