Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Randomize
