Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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