Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
