even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
