found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
