She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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