wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
