So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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