i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
