your parents love me but you hate me
It's Friday. Sex?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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