Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
we should paint friendship bongs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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