My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
