Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
