woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
