Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Come on in and take your pants off
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