how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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