he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
