i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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