Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
