i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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